I think this part of my journey has been possibly the most impact full. I've had a lot of people reach out to me, particularly in the weeks and couple of months after we lost Noah.
The most memorable person who reached out to me was a high school acquaintance now turned friend. She was someone who I played basketball with, weren't great friends but we're teammates non the less. After basketball our sophomore year, we really had no business being friends, we were into different things, had different core friends and in class of 600+, it's easy to loose contact with people. Anyways, life had moved on, we both went off to college, graduated, etc, etc, got married, etc.
In February, she and her husband were expecting to welcome their baby boy, Corey, but like us, unexpectedly, tragically lost him in January, right after we found out we were pregnant with Noah. Admittedly, I was devastated for them but really didn't know how to show that I cared or hurt for them - we hadn't talked in over a decade. So I don't know that I actually said anything.
Fast forward just under 4 months, we lost Noah - she was one of the first people to reach out to me, and it really has made all the difference! I think with pregnancy, once you're out of the 1st trimester, you feel like you're in the clear, but somehow both of us lost our kids 'late' when it's really unexpected. She knew exactly my pain, she understood everything. I didn't have to explain to her why losing my son who technically never lived was devastating, she already knew. She had lived my path, our life long journey to recovery from a loss so great.
Over the past 1/2 year, yes 6 months, my kid has been gone, we've stayed in touch. Periodically, she pops back in just to check on me, and I her. It's a weird sisterhood we've developed. Sadly yet gratefully, i am not along on this journey. Too many women and families have lived it.
Today she posted a quote, "I want to inspire people. I want someone to look at me and say, because of you, I didn't give up." This rings so true from me to her and as I move forward, I hope someone feels similarly about me. My hope is that I have the courage to support others.
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AuthorBereaved mom writing and capturing about grief and healing. Archives
March 2016
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